January 20, 2005

• we stand in the snow, glistening in its all reflecting glow, your
  hand holding mine and my head tilted ever so slightly upon your
  shoulder. you are preoccupied with the children playing in the snow,
  the puppies joyful bounding leaps scattering the little humans like
  pigeons.

  and he does not notice

  that i have remembered a past lover. in this stranger who walks past
  us. so blissfully unaware of my racing heart, my forced demeanor of
  calm.

  and then there are nights, spent outside in a cloud of
  smoke, hours where you held me captive with your smile, when we
  devoured each others hearts and souls in conversation too poignant to
  be entirely forgotten.

  and he cannot notice. my shining new man. who holds me
  more carefully than i have ever been held. who even now, slips his arms
  around me, places light kisses in my hair, and whispers how lovely the
  sky is, perhaps i should write about it sometime..

  and the moment passes. and the stranger with careless hair disappears.

  i am learning that love is not always sunshine and
  roses, that the man who holds my hand need not always know about the
  boy who took my breath away so arrogantly. a racing heart at the notion
  of confronting a memory need not be indicative of a lingering hold.
  that those days are over. and that these have just begun.

  • 9:53 am
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